Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I really was all surrounded. Imagine keeping the secret so long. I don't see how they managed it. Get all the details and let me know. He would do something like that - but me - I'm so damned in love that I can't see straight. Honestly you've no idea to what a state I've been reduced. But to return to N. P. G. you're quite correct in assuming that in April 1930 he was making eloquent love to me and writing compromising letters to me. Will have to drag 'em out next weekend and read 'em. "Darling, I hope I can prove to you someday how much I love you" - or words to that effect. (I'll have to hand it to him. He had a most marvelous line.) He has, by marrying the girl he thinks he loves. He must to marry her. Saw in the Herald where Carolyn Hardison got married. I wish her happiness.
I have enjoyed seeing Beverly this week so much. He came for me Sunday and I saw him Mon. & Wed. Haven't got a date tonite. He went on a wild party Tues. nite and has got to sleep tonight. But I'm gosh awful funny. I wake up at 5:30 thinking of him. And all day, little brother does things that are characteristic.* Sometimes I want to slap him and some days I want to squeeze him hard. But Beverly sees that I go to all the things around here to go to - comes for me Sunday and is so darned thoughtful and sweet. I was never gladder to see anybody than I was him last Thursday nite when I was sick. If that's a sample of this summer I'd better reserve myself a padded cell up at Tuscaloosa. I'm going to have an aching void and nothing to fill it with - if I had heap much money and plenty of friends in Mobile to play around with it would be different. But possessing neither and no prospects I wonder what I'll come to.
Enough of me and Beverly - you're probably bored still - but when I eat, sleep, dream, and almost teach him I have time for little else. Lyman, etc are just nil. They don't register one peg.
I am quite crushed over the wedding. I thought I'd at least always have him to fall back on. Remember how you used to tell me you thought I loved him or came nearer loving him than anyone I'd ever gone with. Guess it's all over now even the shouting. What are they doing - is Nolan still going to school - and are he and Mary living together - or is he home - and given up pursuit of higher learning. (Helen Rowland says that girls go to college so they an come home with a knowledge of how to apply make-up and a higher education in the "noble" art of necking - wonder why boys go?) I want all the dirt on this affair. I've heard no gossip in years - not since I left school anyway. I've been much to busy giving the village gossips something to wag their tongues about to hear any of the gossip much less Tennessee gossip.
Gotta quit and make maps for the little dears. I cordially hate 'em right now.
*Beverly's little brother Donald must be in the class of students she teaches.