Monday, October 10, 2011

April 4, 1932

Dearest Kat,

Remember the poem you sent me not long ago - I lost it and want you to send me another copy. It's the one J. gave you about recognizing your "life's love."

About Beverly - I can't write you all things - but if I could talk to you you might understand. (I'm afraid I understand too much.) He's forgotten to mention the "other girl" since January. If he's married he's a pretty unfaithful husband. If he's just engaged - like you I'd not feel sure of his love - tho' once he said he'd thought he didn't love her anymore but as soon as he saw her he knew he'd always love her. and he once told me that he'd love me for a lifetime, but I'd better not get out of sight!!! I take it he's one of the most fickle of the fickle males. Nevertheless, that doesn't help much the state of my feelings which are chaotic to say the least. Once when I first knew him (before he told me of his love affair) he remarked that I was an unbelievable person and I told him I believed nothing I heard and half I saw. He then asked me if I believed him and I swore I wouldn't - all laughing you know. He thanked me. But he's told me he loved me so many times I'm afraid it's beginning to make an impression. And wouldn't I love to believe it! I don't know where to start - or stop for that matter when I get started on him. He came up to see me last night (forgot to mention that I'm at home this week with the flu). Shore was glad to see him. I've missed him like hell and thought of little else for Wed. and Thurs.

The tornadoes haven't been too close to here. We've gotten rain - just lots of it. cold weather. a little wind but no storm.

My Easter was candy. I was so disgusted with Beverly I didn't know what to do. He's given me candy two or three times before and as I've never had flowers I wanted them terribly. I've had a terrible cold for two weeks and was feeling abdominable so Fri. nite he gave me my candy & said he wasn't sure he'd see me Sunday so I could have it then. I came home Sat. morn. crawled in bed and have been there every since. So see your letter came to cheer my lonely hours in bed. And believe me I've been plenty bored.

I crave me some new clothes like nobody's business but I'll need 'em too bad this summer to buy any now. And besides I need all the cash I can get to go to school. Hope to heck we continue to get paid - I can certainly use it. And may even have to borrow off 'en Mother. A little. But Frances isn't going to have much and I know I'm not quite as extravagant as she is, so maybe I'll manage.

Am up and dressed today for the first time. Just a little while this afternoon. Am weak - can hardly move a chair. First time I've been outside since a week ago. Unless I improve rapidly don't see how I can stand the kids Monday.
Guess I'll sign off and let you try to make heads or tails of the mess.

Lots of love, 'Cile


This got mislaid and did I have seven varieties of kittens. I was afraid Daddy would read it and I couldn't remember exactly how much or how little I said. But I repeat: if you can make a thing of this you're a regular Sherlock Holmes.

Am parked waiting to see if Beverly is going to come for me. I have an idea he's going to make me ride the train just because I haven't in five weeks. He's mean enough to and then laugh about it and tease me. Ma mere says I should lie down and I guess she's right. Nevertheless, I don't want to.

If I wrote anymore it would be Beverly so I won't bore you. Honestly don't see why you don't tell me "fer cryin' out loud in church" to shut up about him. Must bore you to tears. He's hoping you have a big time from now until school is out.

Signing off a second time.

Love, 'Cile.

P.S. Got back up here and hear that when I wasn't here Mon. and Tues. (that) the town said I had eloped with Beverly. Don't know how they accounted for me being gone and him here.


Hariklia said...

Great stuff!!! A teeny bit of rewriting and you'd have the beginning of another American classic "East of Eden' or 'The Heart is a Lonely Hunter'. Is this one of the letter you mentioned, your great grandmothers? I never did look them up. Inspiring!

Anonymous said...

Are you going to divulge the details of the tragedy that follows this letter? It needs to be told I think.

Leslie in Adams Morgan said...

@ Hariklia: Lucile was my grandmother's first cousin. They were both born in 1910 and were the best of friend's. My grandmother used to tell me I reminded her of Lucile. I think it was a little bit of the rebel in both of us.

Hariklia said...

So was your grandmother Kat? and the letter is to her from her first cousin Lucile? How great that you have it, and others.

Leslie in Adams Morgan said...

yes, Kat is short for Katherine.