Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Born in a town full of Eskimos, Rob believes in only two things: polar bears and eskimo kisses. As a lad he journeyed many moons around the small villages of Alaska with his best friend Tarka fighting the Russians and attempting to secede from America while growing massive amounts of herbal life.

In 2008, he finally looked for life outside of Alaska and made the great journey to Canada where he and Tarka took seven brides who also had seven wives and began a small religious community dedicated to the idea that god is just a polar bear who sometimes gives rough eskimo kisses. He and his small army of wives have no children of their own, but often dress up seals in baby clothes and lipstick and name them after important historical figures from Alaska.

His goals for 2009 remain the same as they have always been ... preach the word of the bear and give everyone in the world an eskimo kiss.

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